A Taste Of Confidence?

I’ve never been a confident person.  I guess when everything makes you anxious there is little room for confidence.  I’ve had a good year so far.  It’s March 31st and we’re about to go in to the 4th month of the year.  I’ve had very little anxiety.  I credit the few books I’ve read with this peace in my life.  They’ve taught me to take life moment by moment and just enjoy the now.  So far, it’s worked out.

Yesterday I woke up and sat in bed thinking.  It’s been a particularly hard week.  My wife was involved in a car accident and while she’s okay, there have been some struggles.  I was thinking about what is important in life.  I have a lot of very opinionated friends who tend to… debate passionately on facebook.  For some reason I was thinking about all the horrible things they’ve accused me of in the past month.  Whether it be questioning my parenting, my religion, my political views…  In the past I’ve thought about these things and it’s really bothered me.  Yesterday, however, I felt different.  I felt like I was really liking who I am and that other people’s criticism didn’t matter to me.

I think I’ve said that I don’t care what other people think of me in the past but the fact is, my heart felt differently.  And while I genuinely want people to like me, I feel as if the right people will like me for who I am.  Maybe there are those who wont like me anymore but the world is full of people who I meet all the time who will.  It doesn’t matter anymore if I’ve got people who disagree with me and tell me I’m wrong.  I know in my heart that I’m a good person, my wife and kids love me and they’re happy.  How can I be doing anything wrong if that’s the case?  Maybe this is what confidence in myself is like.

I plan on building on this realization and just be me.  I plan on aligning myself with people who matter and who I seem to fit in with more.  Maybe then these new people and I can work to build each other up. Maybe we’ll understand each other and our needs and work to improve upon our strengths.

It’s a brand new world out there.  I can’t wait to see where it all leads me.

Be well.  Be positive.

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