When The Wheels Come Off

I can feel it happening.  My head is starting to spin out of place.  I can stop it from happening, I know I can.

A couple of weeks ago my wife was in a car accident.  I’ve held up really well despite having to deal with the insurance company, doctors, lawyer, rental car and of course my wife (just trying to keep her positive).

Friday was a particularly hard day.  I was stressed out because one of the kids in my neighborhood had been hitting my 6 year old.  Then one of the other neighbor kids went missing.  Several of us parents searched everywhere for about an hour before we found out he was at a friend’s house down the street.

This sent me in to a downward spiral.  It exhausted me.  But I wasn’t able to stop there, I had to get some things for my daughters who were starting soccer Friday night and Saturday morning.  We had just signed up my girls for soccer and I had never met her coach before.  We ended up getting my eight year old to practice late because we couldn’t find her coach.  I’ve also had very little sleep this past weekend.

I’m fine.  There is nothing wrong.  My kid are happy, my wife has a great doctor… I just need to bring my self back to the moment.  I need to stop worrying about things I cannot change right now.

Change is going to happen.  Things, both good and bad, are going to happen.  If there was a way to stop them after they happened then life would be too easy.  I cannot change what has already happened so I need to accept it and keep moving.  Dwelling on the past, even the recent past, is going to be my downfall if I cannot being myself back to the present.

Be well, be positive.

Embracing Change

As someone who has dealt with a fair amount of anxiety in the past I have always resisted change.  Routine, over the years, has become an absolute must in my life.  Looking back, I remember that the easiest times in my life were times where I had very little routine outside of work or school.

Lately, I keep seeing and hearing quotes that basically state that if you’re not moving forward in life then you’re moving backward.  I’ve been trying to stay in the same place mentally and I feel like it’s moved me backward.

2014 is ticking away.  It’s already April.  The weather is getting warmer, we’re planning our summer trip to Michigan and the kids are going to be out of school before I know it.  2014 is my year.  This is the year to get my head screwed on right so to speak.  This means change.

What I’m finding is that I feel different.  I feel happier, I look forward to change.  Suddenly, everything I do is an adventure.  I don’t feel stagnant anymore.  I try to look at life in wonder and amazement.  Everything I see, is a component of life.

Some people say this feeling wont last.  That’s fine.  If my anxiety comes back at some point, I realize it’s just temporary, it’s another wave in the flow of life.

Living in Orlando is like being on an amazing journey.  It also comes with some challenges.  One of the hardest things is the way people come and go.  Often times I make good friends only to see them move on to another city.  But this change does a couple of things that benefit me.  First, it makes room for new friends.  It has also taught me a valuable lesson to not get too attached to things.  This means embracing change.

So here I am, I’m letting life flow, things change, routines fade and friends move away and I feel better than I have in years.

Be well. Be positive.