Anxiety vs Will Power

What if having will power against anxiety only makes things worse?  Or maybe it would be relying on will power alone to combat anxiety.

I can do some incredible things with will power.  I’ve gone on some diets that have been very successful, I’ve committed to workout plans for long periods of time and I get out of my house every day despite having social anxiety.  But will power doesn’t fix my anxiety.  I’m not sure forcing myself to do some of the things I do really help or they might even exacerbate the situation.  Sometimes I just have no business being out and about with as much anxious energy as I have.  It’s like a drug addict saying “ok, today I’m not hitting the pipe!”  By the next day they’re still addicted and haven’t dealt with the problem that causes the addiction.

There are times when life is an uphill battle and I’m only working to keep the battle going, not end it once and for all.  There are days when I feel like I’m trying to run uphill during an avalanche.  Maybe, just maybe, a better solution would be to stop fighting and take the chair lift instead. So what are my battles?

I struggle with… well… er… ok so my battle is with me.  There, I said it! It’s me! I’m fighting myself.  Like some sort of lunatic. It’s a brain that never stops rambling on and on and me who buys in to everything it tells me.  As they say in 12 step programs, it’s time to let go and let God.  To have faith that everything is working for my benefit.

I’ve been meditating the past couple of weeks.  Not only have I been meditating but I picked up a book about meditation, strangely enough, called “The Buddha Walks Into a Bar…”  My plan is to become quite proficient in meditation that I can quiet my mind end the battle that I’m fighting against myself.

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