I Feel As If I’ve Found Contentment

I feel as if I’ve gotten where I set out to get.  It seemed to have happened quite suddenly and I’m not sure exactly how it happened, although I have some ideas.  I feel right now as if I’m truly happy and content in life.  I’m not worries or stressed about anything.

A few weeks ago I took a major step in my life and started blocking politics and news from my life.  It started with me unfriending, unliking and blocking everything related to politics and news on social media sites.  Next, it was unsubscribing from email lists and not watching cable news anymore.  Once that happened, I very quickly started seeing the world as a much different place.  A much better place.

The funny thing is, you can’t stop people from talking about these things but if you have nothing to add to the conversation then it quickly goes nowhere.  A co-worker came to me with a worried look on her face and sound in her voice asking me if I thought the threat of ISIS was real.  I told her I hadn’t been following the story and didn’t know.  Then we started to talk about something else.  This was a big victory for me.  I always knew something about what was going on in the news and had an opinion.  And not only did I have opinions but I had strong, usually negative, feelings associated with those opinions.  Not having to deal with that anymore has been a major load lifted from my shoulders.

I no longer feel like I have something to fear in life.

This past week I had the opportunity for a promotion at work.  My wife was ready for me to take it, my family members were excited and my boss was ecstatic that I had applied.  I feel as if the job was more, or less, mine for the taking.  As the days led up to my interview, I had a lot of questions about the job itself but also, how it would impact me personally.  I am in a leadership position at work where I have the opportunity to help my co-workers every day.  I help them to be better at their jobs.  Not only that but it is a technical position and I love being hands on, working with computers and pushing buttons.  I love going to work, I love what I do and I’m extremely happy.

The promotion that I had applied for would push me in to the management realm.  More email, phones, employee performance reviews and things of that nature.  I had certain questions about the job itself and I full expected to leave the interview with all of my questions answered, ready to accept the position if it was offered to me.  Instead, I left feeling as if something wasn’t right.  My heart was telling me no.  My boss, who is an amazing woman, seemed to pick up on this in the interview and told me that if this position was going to interfere with my personal life too much then I should really question whether or not it was something I wanted to do.  I promised her an email within 24 hours.

I went home and talked about it with my wife that evening.  I told her that I didn’t want the position.  Being an amazing wife that she is, she understood where I was coming from and told me she would back me up no matter my decision.  23 hours after my interview, I was sending one of the toughest emails of my career.  Not because I questioned my decision but because I didn’t want to let my boss down.  I was taking my name out of the list of candidates for the managing position.

Just because this email was tough to send doesn’t mean there wasn’t a good side to the story.  I felt liberated after sending that email.  I felt as if I was continuing down the right path that life was taking me.  My boss called me in her office a couple of days later and with a smile on her face told me how she really respected my decision and that she would do what she could to help me continue building my career in the direction I wanted.

My life is perfect.  It isn’t always easy but it is always perfect.  I’ve made it, I’m happy, I’m not worrying, I feel as if I’m standing on a road of potential with all of my hurdles and giants behind me.  Most of all, I’m content.  I feel as if I’m beaming with happiness right now.  Will this last?  I hope so! If not, then I feel as if I found my way here once, I can always make it back.

Be well.  Be positive.

 

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