As I start to separate myself from the things that caused me stress and anxiety, I start to notice the ways in which I would create my problems out of thin air. Yes, I would make them magically appear! I see a lot of my friends doing the same thing. Please don’t feel like I feel as if I’m better than anyone because I’m not. I love my friends and know that each and every one of them is a good person. Why else would I be friends with them? But even the best, most positive people I know, including myself, seem to create these problems of anxiety in our lives.
Earlier this week, one of my most happy and positive friends was saying in a very uncharacteristic way that she’d wished she had it in her to say something snotty to the woman that she held a door for who didn’t say thank you to her. Now, this is a friend who has helped some of my friends and family members financially when they were falling on hard times and it made her happier than you’ve ever seen anyone. She loves to give and loves to help out. Maybe she was just having a bad day but that negative thought it the type of thing that always caused me anxiety. The feeling that someone owes me something. If you choose to do something nice for someone, stay positive no matter what their reaction is. It will bless you in ways you never realized. If they can’t be thankful that you gave, then be thankful that you had the opportunity to give. Many times it’ll dawn on people later what you did for them. That kind of thing comes back to you in the form of karma. Relax, accept the blessing as it is and enjoy the experience.
Sometimes there are reason that people fall in to these traps. I have a friend who runs a charity that gives families school supplies, Thanksgiving dinners and Christmas presents. She’s donated to my charitable efforts as well. It takes an extraordinary person to start and then maintain such a business when she, herself, has trouble making ends meet. Last week I saw her complaining about someone she had donated to. It was very passive aggressive, it was on social media and she knew that person would be reading. This person had accepted a donation from her and then taken pictures of herself shopping at a high end clothing store. It struck me as very uncharacteristic of my friend to complain in this manner.
I’ve seen this a lot lately. Someone will help someone else out and then claim ownership of that person and criticize everything they do. I was hurt by this post because I have worked to help this charity and I feel giving should be something you do joyfully. The next day, my friend posted something on social media that may have explained her actions. Her mom was in the hospital for the third time in two weeks, her son was in the hospital having his tonsils out and her husband was having some medical problems. She was clearly in a bad place but compounded her stress by letting someone else’s actions affect her.
This is how I used to create anxiety when I had no other reason to be anxious. I’m in no way calling my friends out. We all have bad days, even the most positive of people. Their experiences have taught me lessons that I can now take with me. Observe your friends and see what’s bothering them. How do you relate to this? How can their experienced, combined with your’s help you become a better person?
Be well. Be positive.