There have been many times in my life where I don’t seem to have any desires. I’ve often mistaken this contentment for laziness or lack of direction. We live in a society where we’re made to feel like we should always have goals to work toward. If we’re not getting a promotion at work or trying to get to the next financial level then we’re made to feel bad about ourselves.
I do enjoy having a goal to work toward, but I have been asking myself lately, “what if I’ve already found what I’m looking for and don’t realize it?” Alan Watts asked the question, “What is it that you want?” When I ask myself this question, I have to honestly say, “I don’t know.” Watts’ answer to this is that either I already have it or I don’t know myself. This really resonates with me.
Four years ago I came to a realization that I don’t know anything. I started to think, at 14 I thought I knew everything, then at 24 I thought I knew everything, but now, at 34 I don’t know anything. I haven’t got the world or myself figured out. At 38 I realize that I probably never will have that figured out. So Alan Watts was right, I don’t know myself. He went on to say that you can never really know yourself.
The funny thing is, I think both of his answer apply to me. I think I already have what I want. I have a wife who I love more than I ever imagined I could, three beautiful girls who I love, who make me happy and who I am incredibly proud of. I have a home that I really like. I couldn’t be happier with my career path.
I may not have things figured out but I seem to have what I want out of life. So why struggle to obtain what I already have?
Be well. Be Positive.