What Is Your Identity?

In our modern society we have so many external factors that we use to identify ourselves.  In fact, not only do we use these things to show others who we are but we use them to tell ourselves, falsely, who we are.  These are often things like how big your TV is, what type of phone you carry with you or the clothes you wear.  For me it’s watches and cars.

In the end, you are not your phone or your TV or even your clothes.  Styles and devices often change.  Statistically speaking, you probably wont be driving the same car you are driving today in 10 years.  You may feel a deep sense of identity from that car right now, however. We draw a deep sense of identity from our friends as well.

The grand illusion is that we are not those things.  This was a concept that has taken me a very long time to understand. When you look deep in to your soul and try to understand who you really are then material things start to mean less to your overall identity.

One big problem that I, and most everyone else, have is attachment to these things because I feel they define me.  Meditation is something that has helped me with this.

Ask yourself today, “who am I really?”

Learning To Meditate – How-To

Discovering Meditation

In late 2008 I was working in an IT job.  I worked Monday through Friday, was off by 4pm and had my own desk.  Unfortunately, this type of work just isn’t what I’m passionate for.  I was often stressed out working with someone who was constantly worried about not getting jobs done on time or that the boss wouldn’t be happy.

One particularly stressful day, my co-worker (there were two of us in the IT department) left for lunch in a panic.  Looking back on it, I cannot even tell you what they were so upset about.  My heart was pounding and I was feeling wrecked.  I went online and looked up stress management techniques.  I found a short how-to type website that told me to close my eyes and just try to breathe and think about inhaling and exhaling.  It told me to do this for five minutes.

So I set a timer and for fine minutes I did my best just to think about inhaling and exhaling.  After five minutes I felt like a new man.  I felt like my energy was back and my stress had been released.  I was blown away that I could calm myself down do easily in such a short amount of time.

Developing My Practice

I started, in the next few weeks and months, to research this technique more and more and found that this was meditation.  I had heard about meditation my whole life but had always thought it was just for hippies to sit around and chant “om” and be lazy.  I had no idea what meditation was for or how to do it.

In 2009 I started a new job in a new state and decided to learn how to meditate more effectively.  Meditation would become an on again, off again relationship over the next few years. but when I was diligent in my practice I felt great.  Since my practice has been fairly steady for the past many months, I contribute this practice to my mental well-being that I have been experiencing.

Most Common Concerns

The most common thing I hear people say when I suggest they meditate for stress and anxiety relief is “I don’t know how to do it”, which was my problem years ago.  The second thing I hear is “I’ve tried it and I couldn’t make my mind stop.”  Let me address both of these concerns for you right now and hopefully you can start a practice of your own.

Meditation 101

Here is a step by step how-to guide to meditation:

1. Sit comfortably somewhere where you wont have many distractions. Background noise shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Start repeating a mantra (a word or sentence that you choose, can be literally anything) in your head over and over.
4. Focus also on your breathing.
5. When thoughts pop in your head, think of them being taken away on clouds and go back to steps 3 and 4.
6. Stop after a few minutes when you start to feel better.

That’s it.  That’s meditation.

But I Can’t Stop My Brain

Meditation is a “practice”.  You don’t “do” meditation, you practice it.  The first time I tried shooting a basketball I missed.  I miss 50-60% of the time still after 30 years.  This doesn’t’ mean I should stop trying to shoot a basketball.  It just means I wont hit the shot every time.  You will have thoughts in your brain that come a lot more often than you wish during your meditation practice.  Just remember step five and practice, practice.  Maybe after many years you’ll be meditating like a monk.  Until then, you will feel the benefits.  I guarantee it.

Be well. Be positive.

Upcoming Project Shameless Plug

I’ve decided to start a new website that will help people to start focusing on the positive moments in their lives.  Leading up to the launch in a couple of months, I’ve decided to start a newsletter with helpful tips and updates.  If you’d like to sign up for my email updates please email me at:

positiverpg@gmail.com

Thank you for your support and now, here’s a picture of me

Changing Course After Overcoming Anxiety

When I started this blog on January 1, 2014, I had a mission to end the year in a much greater state of mind than when I started it.  October through December of 2013 were very rough for me.  I was riddled with anxiety and was starting to withdraw from daily life.  I knew my family couldn’t take much more of it and neither could I.  I started on a journey to discover peace and serenity.  By the end of the year I had found it.

I haven’t had a real anxiety attack in month.  Sure, there’s the occasional little bit of nervousness that I’d like to think is normal but the bad anxiety that I used to have is gone.  So for a blog that is about overcoming anxiety, there aren’t a lot of stories to tell.  That is not to say that the anxiety couldn’t come back.  It most certainly will.  I have set up a lot of things in my life to prevent it from coming back.

I think this is the best direction for me to take in this blog right now.  I’ve started practicing meditation, carrying crystals in my pockets, using sage to get rid of negative energy and just trying to stay present. I’d like to share some of this with all of you as well as tell stories about me and some of the struggles and bumps along the way.

I may have knocked out the giants in my life.  They was in a coma but they’re not dead.  My mission is to stop them from coming back.  This is something I want to share with all of you.

I will, however, direct my attention off of the anxiety.  I feel as if the saying “what you resist persists” is true.  If you focus on something, even not wanting it, it’ll keep showing up.  So my focus will mostly be on positive outcomes.

I Live in an Alternate Universe

I’ve come to a pretty major conclusion.  I live in an alternate universe.  Oh, you may see me in one universe, lets call it Alpha, and speak to me in Alpha but I actually see and interact in… we’ll call it Omega because I like Omega watches.  This realization has helped me to come to grips with my reality so to speak and to accept life as it happens.  Let me explain how this works.

So my wife sends me to the store.  She says “pick me up these crackers.  They’re on the bottom shelf right next to these other crackers.”  Simple task for anyone, she told me where it where it is, she told me what it’s next to and she showed me the box so I know what it looks like.  15 minutes later I’m standing in the grocery store on the phone with my wife who is trying to explain to me where these crackers are.  “No, those aren’t here and neither are the others… yes! I’m looking on the bottom shelf… yeah right in the middle!”  So normally, I would take her word for it and keep looking and sometimes leave without ever finding it.

Now that I realize she lives in the Alpha universe and I live in the Omega universe I know that I can’t always depend on her account of where something will be located.  Most likely it wont be.  So now I will look where she says but not get fixated on it.  Now, I’m finding what I’m looking for, just not where it’s supposed to be.

Now, that doesn’t mean I always see my universe.  There are times when I go to the store with her and she’ll say “See! right here” and I’m dumbfounded that I couldn’t find it where she did.

So this is potentially life changing.  There are so many more examples that I could give but maybe I’ll save these for another post.  The lesson, however, is that now that I recognize that I live in an alternate universe I can adjust my perception and adjust my life.  I don’t have to keep worrying about things I can’t help.